all you need is (self) love

this year
I fell in love

it was magical
unexpected
the life-altering, earth shaking type of affair

this year I fell in love
not with the boy that wears the beanie in my fourth period class
or the sweet talking barista that memorized my order at beans & brew
not with the guitar player or the study buddy or even the boy who took my breath away
and definitely not with the jock swaggering down the 100 hall

they say when you fall in love it's like you're wearing rose colored glasses
like the sun shines just a little bit brighter and the birds sing just for you
but this love of mine?
it shattered the lenses of the glasses I've worn my whole life
destroyed the frames
canceled the prescription


20/20 vision's never felt so good
because this year was the year

I fell in love with myself

and my sight has never been clearer

I am a terrible dancer
I hold grudges longer than I should
I don't have the best hair
I use sarcasm far too liberally
I procrastinate (a lot)
I beat myself up over everything

but

I am passionate
I am strong
I am capable
I am talented
I am loyal
I am enough

I love the gap between my teeth and the freckles on my nose
I love the way I always pronounce words wrong that I learned from reading the books on my shelf
I love my awkward dance moves and my opinionated mouth
I love the every imperfection and flaw and all the terrible things that come with being human

this year I fell in love
it's not the type of love that nicholas sparks would write about
there's no dashing hero that pieces together my fragmented heart
but it's the type of love that saves you
that saved me

this love is deeper than that
it's life-sustaining
this love is happiness
this love is acceptance
this love is everything

love is a big word, but I think I've found it within myself

because I am me
and that's enough

and so are you

note: i highly encourage ya'll to go check out the blog post that inspired this new year's resolution here