the girl i want to be

sweet like honey and just as smooth
with a smile painted on porcelain cheeks
don't swear, don't argue, don't be so crude
after all, that's not what a lady would do.

beautiful in an effortless way
with hair that falls in curtains of silk
lips like roses and eyes like the stars
you tell her she's the prettiest thing you've ever seen
no need for make-up, she's the epitome of perfection
she smiles underneath the foundation she wears like a shield
wary, alert
she knows how this could end
because you'll run at the slightest chink in the armor

meek like a lamb with a domestic little heart
a welcome sight after a long day at the office
with glitter in her mind and vacant lips
you know she'll always be there waiting for you
demure and harmless and sugary sweet
she's not a threat
you still rule sovereign
you've nothing to fear

but we are done being sweet and beautiful and meek
done being a doll to store on the shelf
not a damsel in distress
nor a flimsy paper boat
but stronger, much stronger
we're so much more

i want to be ferocious and wild and free
call me clever before complimenting my eyes
don't drink in my figure but the fire in my gaze
because trust me
there's so much more than what you see
and if i want to be pretty, it's not for you
my beauty will be powerful, not frilly and weak
because i alone am the master of my self

And i'll choose the kind of girl i want to be.

burning

she burned and burned until there was nothing left

just scattered ashes

in the shameful breeze

and you watched as the flames licked the night sky

not speaking

not moving

not listening

just watching

because her destruction

warmed your ice-cold soul

i choose to rise

things aren't how i thought they'd be

i was always the girl with a plan
the one who knew what she wanted from life
and exactly how she was going to get there

always carrying an extra pen
always ready for that pop quiz
always a proud mother's facebook post
and a loving father's water-cooler brag,
and always good for a witty remark or two

step 1:
step 2: save the world
step 3:
never took much time for the prologue
or the epilogue

but now i'm thinking maybe i should have

because life isn't like a game of the sims on the computer
there's no second chances
or do-overs
no game over just to start right back where you started

there's no master controller
no matter how hard i try
because life is just one big unknown
a river running in one direction
and you either swim
or drown

i've spent enough time lamenting what might have been
and cursing whoever's pulling the strings up there
today i choose to take what i'm given
and run with the wind at my back

because everyday the sun rises without fail

and so will i